... rarely looks like this in reality. But it almost always looks like this in social media. The precious moments that are just filled with gold. Laughter. Pure joy.
But what about all the pulling of mothers in every imaginable direction.... physically, mentally and emotionally? The kid(s) needs to eat, poop, take a shower, get dressed... S(he) demands the iPad or otherwise there’s a food strike. Your husband/partner needs a time out to breath or to create (something)… You need to deliver something ASAP for work. Your friend is in a relationship crises and you need to be there for her.... You can feel your heart racing just reading this… BUT WAIT a minute. Stop. Breath....
What about your needs....? Who stops the never ending carousel to tend to them? Who cares about what you really want? And do you even remember the last time you paused to reflect on what your desires are? Did you share them with your partner so s(he) could help you fulfill them?
Lots of women who become mothers forget quite a lot about who they really are. It’s the MOST amazing thing to become a mother and we get so consumed by the role that a lot of us lose the inner compass of what we think is even fun and creative anymore. We become 100% givers and forget how to receive. As life is passing by at a hundred miles per hour we tend to lose connection with ourselves because we are so busy being mothers, lovers, partners, wives, friends, employees, daughters, entrepreneurs... The list of roles we play and needs we tend to is kind of ridiculous. It’s a road that can easily lead to numbness (because how are we otherwise supposed to survive), desperately wanting to control our emotions and finally becoming really damn drained.
Until the day we decide to SLOW DOWN the spinning wheel… Until the day YOU decide to actually experience YOU. Until you really embrace the concept of being the creator of YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE. YOUR LIFE. Believe me, when that day comes, the list of ‘NEEDS and SHOULDS’ will shrink by a LOT. So much clutter will disappear because the distinction between what’s important and what’s not finally becomes clear. And that’s a hallelujah-fu**ing-life-changing time of your life. It’s the moment when you realize that YOU are actually the most important thing in your own life. Because without you prioritizing YOU there is no energy left over to be present in the play. There’s no fun in the food making. There is no glow. There is no feeling sensual. There is not much aliveness left for anyone else to enjoy and least of all for yourself. The truth is that when you tend to everyone else first, life becomes a lot more about obligation and a lot less about joy and real love. And that’s not a good thing for anyone.
Seeing to everyone else’s needs first makes us dry, less alive, bitter and even jealous (I know, hard words but how else would I catch your attention). I know because it’s being proven to me over and over again with the clients I work with, the friends I hear speaking about the mother role and also because I experience it regularly myself when I forget to myself first. ‘Seeing to your own needs first is selfish’ is a common belief. ‘Seeing to your own needs first is IMPOSSIBLE as a mother’ is another. I know these statements are simply not true and I am here to support anyone who wants to break free from that old belief system. Because when you do see to yourself first, just witness all that beautiful energy that will be overflowing and just washing over your loved ones. They will feel totally loved and nourished because your love comes from a place of overflow instead of a place of dryness. If you are really honest with yourself I know you will feel the truth in this, because your body, spirit and mind craves it. We all do.
Everyone that has had a taste of the sweet life lived from the place of self love, knows that this is the way to show up in the world. The way to inspire others, to serve others and to love others. You cannot give or receive what you don’t hold within. The more full you are within yourself - the more fullness and love you have to offer those around you. In other words – your beloved family will thrive when you thrive. Win win.
So gorgeous mothers - first take a moment to celebrate yourselves. Then start to tend to yourself. Drop into your body and ask her what she really wants (maybe you also need to drop a ‘sorry for not listening to you for a while’ while you’re at it). Let her express what she wants and follow that guidance. See if you can let her communicate joy, sadness, pleasure, anger.. whatever there is lingering below your busy head - give it space. And then see what happens... see how you light up... see how your kids look at you with curiousness and LOVE. See how your partner looks at you with a newfound RESPECT and wild DESIRE. See how you look in the mirror and see that spark in your eye coming to life.
If you want guidance on HOW to ACTIVATE and ALIGN with more ALIVENESS, healing, liberation, self love, pleasure and creativity in your life - don’t hesitate to reach out. I just re-launched my beautifully high impact 3.5 month program and I am calling in a couple of new mamas to join my practice. Click here to schedule your free discovery session and hear more about the magic we can create together. Or send me an email on firstname.lastname@example.org
Welcome sister! Welcome mother.